Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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