I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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