Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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