why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize