2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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