Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize