you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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