would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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