It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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