I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
