i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
They should really pass out barf bags in church
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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