I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize