so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
