I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
