I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
