i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize