We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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