woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
