Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize