How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
