Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
