i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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