but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
