Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
