One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
