Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
