Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
