My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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