Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
