So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
