Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
