People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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