I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize