He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
