Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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