Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My balls are so social today.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize