I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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