That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
