So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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