I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
