It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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