i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
