After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
