I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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