Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
birth control should be required to get into college
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
