I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Randomize
