Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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