you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
