shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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