I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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