Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
