The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
