So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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