Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize