Do you still have your period?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
