She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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