we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize