fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
