Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
