She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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