8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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