Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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