Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
