WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
