rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize