Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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