i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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