do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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