saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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