North Korea, Best Korea!
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
