yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
