I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
