bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
