It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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