You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
