Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
