I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
