so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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